‘Tis the season to be jolly, or is it? You’re hot, you’re bothered, you’re dying for a glass of chilled white wine and your bikini. You’re going to be a mom soon, and that’s great – you are super excited but to be honest, being pregnant in summer sucks.
There’s no gorgeous summer glow and pretty flower crowns – what you see is sweat beading on your face, and grass stuck in your hair because you just couldn’t bear to sit up straight any longer at the family picnic.
Here’s what it’s really like to be pregnant in summer:
Sweat runs from under your boobs around your stomach and pools in your lap. It looks like you have peed in your pants, but it can’t be pee, you just went to the loo.
Your farts are extra smelly when it’s hot. Gas is a normal part of pregnancy, you know that, your husband might understand, but the young couple sitting next to you at the coffee shop looks like they are about to lose their breakfast. Let’s not forget, you are carrying a baby, so keeping that gas bottled up is not possible – they just sneak out.
You feel like a beached whale. It’s so damn hot, you want to live in the pool, you start envying mermaids (why do they get to stay in the water all the time), but eventually you realise that no amount of water can keep you cool. And also, you have a toddler and husband to feed, so living in the pool for the rest of your pregnancy is not an option. Why do they want dinner every single night?
Can you say wardrobe malfunction? If you think a summer dress is the answer, think again. If you’re late in your pregnancy, finding a summer dress that’s comfortable, looks decent and doesn’t resemble a circus tent is impossible. What’s up with society’s stupid standards about wearing pants anyway?
Menopause is about 20 years too early – you’re red in the face, the hot flushes are unbearable and your energy levels just can’t keep up with your water intake and tiny bladder. You just peed 30 seconds ago, it can’t be time again. Might as well just pack your bags and live in the bathroom for the remainder of your pregnancy. Don’t even think about holding it in – all it takes is a small cough or sneeze and you’ll need to change clothes. And let’s face it, at this point in your pregnancy you are lucky if you have one comfy set of knickers.
OMG I’m turning into an elephant!! It might feel like it, and it might look like it, but your swollen feet are just another fun symptom of a summer pregnancy.