I thought making friends at school was hard but now I realise how difficult it is to find moms that can understand me and my parenting style. I’m 24-years-old and most of my friends are not married yet, so talking about potty training or toddler tantrums to them is pointless.
The only way I can share my thoughts and emotions about parenting is by joining a mom’s play group or making friends with moms online. Luckily some of my husband’s friends are married with kids so I have automatically became friendly with their wives. But sometimes trying to make a new mom friend can be challenging.
Here I am at Kitana’s school picnic with a bunch of moms who all have different personalities and parenting styles. Many of them know each other already. But me? I’m the new mom on the block.
Here are 10 things no one ever tells you about making mom friends:
1. Making mom friends is a lot like dating
You start off randomly meeting at the mall’s baby changing room, exchange numbers and two weeks later you meet for a playdate.
2. Mean moms exist
Remember the mean girl at school? Well now she’s a mean mom. You will come across moms who will try to push you around at the baby expo or changing rooms, and probably tell you how to be a mom.
3. You will always get judged
You might get judged for breastfeeding or bottle feeding, sleep training or co-sleeping and probably much more. There’s always that mom waiting to judge you for your parenting style.
4. You will start judging
Look at that mom all dolled up but her daughter’s nose is snotty, and check out the child is not wearing a jacket in the middle of winter. I admit, I do it and I’m sure we all did it at one stage.
5. Being a mom becomes a competition
Who has the best pram? Wait you’re driving a …….? My daughter got her teeth at four months, what about yours?
6. A moms group can help and discourage you
You look forward to attending the meeting, but afterwards you can end up doubting your parenting style and wonder what you are doing wrong.
7. You end up losing some old friends
Life happened and now all you want to talk about is your child to someone who understands you.
8. You end up becoming best friends
I’ve heard many stories of random moms becoming best friends because they agree on parenting styles and have much in common.
9. Your kids might hate each other
You get along but your kids may not. This is a tough one. Do you end up meeting without them?
10. You end up trusting your mom friends more
Mom friends are not just there for playdates, they end up being your pillar of strength when you are feeling weak. Mom friends are family you can rely on for advice.
Shan is mom of a three-year old who is obsessed with makeup and all things girly and she is expecting a son in September. Her day is filled with lots of kisses, dirty nappies and tantrums, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything else! Her blog is her online journal of her journey through motherhood. Read it here www.youbabyandi.com.
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