For most of us, life’s biggest landmarks are a leap of faith. There’s no telling that there isn’t someone who would have made you happier; you can’t be sure that you won’t regret buying that bigger house. Many women still feel as if they’re not qualified to have become mothers the first time around, and as for baby number two – if you’re still reeling from your first, how on earth can you be sure you’ll have the time and energy to parent two kids?
Relax – there are hidden clues everywhere.
You finally stop feeling as though you’re treading water.
“I think you can feel confident about being a second-time mom when you’ve achieved a sense of balance in most areas: you have enough time to spend with your first, with your hubby and with yourself,” says Tracey Glass. And, yes – once you’ve mastered one-handed nappy changes, remember to pack everything you need in your baby bag, stop panicking about schedules and (dare we say it) manage to get a full eight hours on occasion, you probably have the confidence to try again.
It’s the right time for the family.
“My little one started asking when her “bruzzer” was going to arrive, so we thought we should do something about it!” says Gail Maimane. Samantha Leps agrees that it was her first child who determined the timing for the second: “We spent a holiday in Cape Town tag-teaming ball and swimming, and we realised our holidays would become a lot more restful if she had a sibling to play with!”
It makes sense from a logistic perspective.
Mara Langkilde says she wanted “a standard two-year” age gap. A lot of moms try to get the ‘perfect’ interval: on the one hand, having your babies close together means that you have just a few intense years of nappy changing and tantrums, and then it’s all over. Plus, there’s none of the trauma of separate drop offs at school. Other people need time to recuperate, and relish the idea of having a slightly more independent sibling who may even be able to lend a helping hand.
Babies are everywhere!
That means they’re on your radar. If you’re eyeing someone else’s pregnant tummy enviously, or have found yourself staring wistfully at babies blissfully sleeping in their prams, you’re probably broody…
In her 16 years as journalist, Lisa Witepski’s work has appeared in most of South Africa’s leading publications, including the Mail & Guardian, Sunday Times, Entrepreneur and Financial Mail. She has written for a number of women’s magazines, including Living & Loving, Essentials and many others, across topics from lifestyle to travel, wellness, business and finance. She is a former acting Johannesburg Bureau Chief for Cosmopolitan, and former Features Editor at Travel News Weekly, but, above all, a besotted mom to Leya and Jessica. Lisa blogs at whydoialwayscravecake.blogspot.com and lisa.witepski.blogspot.com, and tweets at @LisaWitepski.