13 of the funniest parenting tweets

Posted on July 9th, 2019

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll identify. Brace yourself for our round-up of the best parenting tweets.

Funiest parenting tweets

It’s fun, it’s maddening, it’s frustrating, it’s hilarious…it’s #momlife. Here are the best parenting tweets from moms around the world.

ALSO SEE: 4 awkward parenting moments, PLUS expert advice on how to handle them

It’s not at all suspicious when my four-year-old says, “Mom, put your arm up high and I won’t tickle your armpit at all, just put it up and I won’t tickle you.” I wasn’t born yesterday, kid.

I got a new alarm clock five years ago and it’s still going strong to this day. Only difference is, it doesn’t cry now, it just repeats “I want breakfast” over and over.

My son asked me if I had “mommy training” I said no. He said “What?How did you become a mommy without proper training?”

As I sit here with my children in a sea of beads, I remind myself that anxiety attacks are temporary but fine motor skills are forever. Hopefully.

First I was late for my period then I was never on time for anything again #momlife am I right?

*Arrive home from work*

Me: Hi 3! I missed you, do you have a cuddle for me?

3: Sorry Daddy, I’ve run out. I had some, but I gave them all to Mummy.

It’s almost 3am. My child decided this was the perfect opportunity to wake me from a deep sleep and provide me with a verbal history of everything she isn’t allowed to do or she will get a time out. #Parenthood

My 12-year-old son: What if instead of a man getting bitten by a radioactive spider, a spider got bitten by a radioactive man?

Me: Um-

12 year old: *singing* Man-Spider, Man-Spider. Does whatever a man can do. Pays his taxes, gets a job. Lookout, here comes the Man-Spider. #boymom #momlife

Being a mom means… kids beating on the bathroom door like the SWAT team, asking for a snack , while you’re in the shower and their father is in the kitchen… #momlife

Have you had the same bun in for three days? Chances are, you’re a mom. #momlife

My daughter has been asleep for two hours. Disney Jr is still playing on the television. Why haven’t I changed the channel yet? #dadlife

Hoping the kids sleep like Matthew McConaughey tonight…All night, all night, all night. #dadlife

Terrific. Sat down on a six-hour cross country flight and I’m seated next to someone with a baby. Doesn’t matter it’s my wife and son. #dadlife



About Lisa Witepski

  In her 16 years as journalist, Lisa Witepski’s work has appeared in most of South Africa’s leading publications, including the Mail & Guardian, Sunday Times, Entrepreneur and Financial Mail. She has written for a number of women’s magazines, including Living & Loving, Essentials and many others, across topics from lifestyle to travel, wellness, business and finance. She is a former acting Johannesburg Bureau Chief for Cosmopolitan, and former Features Editor at Travel News Weekly, but, above all, a besotted mom to Leya and Jessica. Lisa blogs at whydoialwayscravecake.blogspot.com and lisa.witepski.blogspot.com, and tweets at @LisaWitepski.