Toddlers just have no chill. By Lisa Witepski
If ever you’ve watched your child have a complete meltdown over something seemingly insignificant, you’ll be grateful to learn that you’re not alone. Internationally, the hashtag #assholeparent started trending when moms and dads began sharing the deeds their kids deemed truly unforgiveable – you know, like giving them a grape when they’ve just asked for one. Of course, we have plenty of our own examples. Do any of the below sound familiar?
- “My son went beserk when I told him I wouldn’t buy him a manicure kit from a well-known salon chain. In front of all the women who were treating themselves to a peaceful pamper, he threw himself on the floor, kicking and crying.” – Amelia, mom of Jake (4).
- “My daughter was singing I’m Still Standing by Elton John. I gently pointed out that the lyrics are ‘looking like a true survivor’, rather than ‘looking like a choo choo momma’. She was furious.” – Chris, mom of Leah (4).
- “I was out for lunch with my sister, who had ordered a pizza for her son. She nabbed a slice before he saw it, then quickly rearranged the slices so that he wouldn’t notice any were missing. Her efforts to avoid a meltdown came to nothing though. When he saw the pizza, he bellowed, ‘It’s shiny!’ She soothingly replied, ‘No, it’s not.’ To which he screamed, ‘It’s not shiny!’ – Tatum, mom of Evan (5).
- “My 18-month-old becomes furious when she doesn’t manage to position her older sister’s panties on her head in precisely the right way.” – Sarah, mom of Jessica (18 months) and Ava (4).
- “We were driving home from a dinner, and my daughter had been watching the moon through the car window. She went crazy when she lost sight of it, screaming ‘I want the moon!’ and unbuckled her car seat in fury.” – Kate, mom of Jaime (2).
- “My daughter shouted at me for ages when she found out I had attended a work meeting while she was at school. I tried to lie about it, but she told me she could smell my perfume, and said she knew that I only put on perfume if I was going out. I felt like a souse caught cheating.” – Shane, mom of Emily (3).
- “I joined in while my daughter was trying to sing the alphabet song. She has never forgiven me.” – Robyn, mom of Erin (3).
- “Stella had a hissy fit because she couldn’t fit into the dinky car we bought her for Christmas.” – Shane, mom of Stella (1).
- “My son went ballistic because I took the wrapper off his Kiri cheese.” – Monica, mom of Sebastian (2).
In her 16 years as journalist, Lisa Witepski’s work has appeared in most of South Africa’s leading publications, including the Mail & Guardian, Sunday Times, Entrepreneur and Financial Mail. She has written for a number of women’s magazines, including Living & Loving, Essentials and many others, across topics from lifestyle to travel, wellness, business and finance. She is a former acting Johannesburg Bureau Chief for Cosmopolitan, and former Features Editor at Travel News Weekly, but, above all, a besotted mom to Leya and Jessica. Lisa blogs at whydoialwayscravecake.blogspot.com and lisa.witepski.blogspot.com, and tweets at @LisaWitepski.