Around this time of year my wife always asks me what I’d like for Father’s Day, and my answer is always exactly the same, “I’d like a TV Bar, please.”
My love for this delicious chocolate knows no bounds and if I actually knew who the CEO of Beacon was, I’d send him a personal letter thanking him for all the joy he’s given me over the years.
My wife says a chocolate bar is not nearly grandiose enough to say thanks for everything I do for my family, but I always tell her that it’s actually not necessary to thank me. I knew what I was signing up for, and I do everything for one simple reason – I love her and my two children.
Having said that, I’m not beyond enjoying a day dedicated entirely to me.
Who doesn’t like getting free stuff for simply staying alive for another year, or for doing all the fatherly activities you would have done anyway? Not me, that’s for sure.
I am, however, reliably informed that it’s tricky to buy presents for such day, so here’s a guide to the perfect Father’s Day gift(s) for all the daddies out there.
Step one: Get the breakfast right.
It sounds tricky, but not if you take the Ron Swanson approach to breakfast:
Step two: Choose the perfect gift.
There are four gift options available:
1.The quick and easy gift.
Mantality is an online shop that offers a bunch of things men adore. You could literally close your eyes, click on any item, and it will be amazing and make your partner happy.
2.Activities for the whole family.
Personally, I like to spend my free time with my family and Father’s Day is no different. A gift that encourages family time is ace in my book. Here are five suggestions:
- A superhero movie
Many of these movies are family friendly. Options include Iron Man, Thor, The Avengers and Ant-Man. My personal favourite is Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, as fatherhood is the main theme of the film.
- PlayStation 4 with an eye camera
It is expensive, but offers so much. An eye camera tracks movement, which means the entire family can stand in front of the TV and play games. These games range from simple popping bubbles, to more complex games dad can play at night when the kids are sleeping.
- A Netflix/Showmax/Amazon Prime subscription
You can spend an entire day watching movies and series as a family, then let dad crack open a beer with more grown-up viewing once the kids have gone to bed. I highly recommend Netflix, if only for House of Cards, Daredevil and its archive of astounding documentaries.
There are go-karting locations all over South Africa. Not only is it a fun activity, but it’s also an opportunity to remind the kids why he’s the daddy. Don’t hold back to spare their feelings. Drive hard and go for the win.
Off-road go-karting is, in my opinion, more fun than the more traditional kind. The loose surface makes for interesting slip-sliding action and nothing exhilarates the soul more than a perfectly executed power slide.
- Build something
Thanks to YouTube and Google, it’s ridiculously easy to get your hands on step-by-step instructions for building nearly anything.
A wooden chest takes roughly a day to complete and it’s something you can keep in the family for generations. It probably won’t line up as nicely as the chest in the instructions, and chances are it will be slightly wobbly, but those things will give it a certain amount of charm. It will also give your partner an opportunity to pretend he knows something about building, and, speaking as a dad, there’s nothing more uplifting than imparting knowledge to your offspring, even if it’s something you know nothing about.
3.Nifty gifts and gadgets
Keep it small with one of these gadgets or nifty gifts:
- Retro pocket game
Modern consoles are amazing, but retro is making a comeback. These days you can buy pocket consoles with more than 100 pre-loaded eight-bit games. If your partner is older than 30, he’ll flip at the prospect of having the most popular arcade games from his youth safely stored within his pocket.
You can also go the Apple or Android gift card route, which will allow dad to pay for and download games to his phone or tablet.
Just don’t expect him to be as attentive as before if you get him one of these options.
The story of what happened during your day is important, but not as important as getting through level eight of Super Mario.
- Millennium Falcon keyring
Anything Star Wars-related makes for an epic gift, but having the most famous spaceship ever on your car keys is beyond cool.
- Tactical Chef Jacket
If your partner has culinary aspirations, buy him this tactical, military-grade cooking outfit.
It has two large pouches, three smaller pouches and removable Velcro patches. It stores everything you might need while cooking, including utensils, spices and his alcoholic beverage of choice.
As the marketing material for this product states, it’s the must-have accessory for any “grill sergeant”.
4.The once-off experience
Undoubtedly the most expensive item on this list, but also the most memorable experience you could invest in.
Get your partner behind the wheel of a Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4, Porsche GT3, Aston Martin V8 Vantage, Ferrari California, Audi R8 or Nissan GTR. All these cars are capable of speeds higher than 300km/h, and as these experiences take place on a track, your partner can discover what driving a R3 million car really feels like.
Don’t worry about losing your parental unit in an accident, however. The experience includes a qualified co-driver, who will not only help your partner reach his full potential behind the wheel, but also intervene when things get a bit tricky.
Gerhard is the digital editor at our sister magazine Country Life and dad of Abri (3) and Albert (two months).