Teach your child to be polite

1. Don’t give in to his every whim
We’re not saying you should keep your week-old baby waiting when he’s hungry, but as children get older, they need to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Others must also have a chance. And if Mom is busy with something, they must wait until she’s finished before she can play with them.

2. Respect him
You can’t expect your three-year-old to show you respect if you don’t return the favour. Let him finish his sentences and ask instead of telling (within reason, of course). Remember that you’re his “blueprint” and he’ll copy your behaviour to make you happy.

3. Teach him the basics
Start with “please” and “thank you”, and “bless you” for sneezes, and make sure you always greet people. Later you can progress to shaking hands with people, not interrupting when they speak, and putting your things away when you’re finished. Let your child pick up his own clothes after bath time and more or less “make” his own bed – even small toddlers should be able to manage this.

4. Explain why good manners are important
Make sure that your child understands that good manners aren’t just for the sake of other people – they also show self-respect. Explain that “please” is to show that you want something; “thank you” is for showing appreciation, and “hello” and “goodbye” mean that you’re acknowledging the person’s presence and importance.

5. Reward good behaviour
“Rewarding good behaviour by showing your appreciation and excitement is as necessary as rewarding his first step,” says Corlene. “No behaviour gets repeated unless it’s meaningful or successful. Showing him that you are proud, happy and pleased with his behaviour is important, and develops a sense of belonging and pride in him. The only reward necessary is consistent praise. The opposite is also important. If your child doesn’t comply with expected behaviour, he should be reprimanded in the same way e.g. express your disapproval or take the ice-cream away and wait for “please” before you hand it to him.”

6. Make it a ritual
Let your child put his own clothes in the wash basket while you clean the bathroom, for example, and teach him to take his plates and glasses to the kitchen. Explain that this shows respect for his clothes and your home, and make sure he does it every day. You can even draw up a chart of his chores – the ones he does to help out in the house and contribute. The added bonus is that this behaviour will also add to his sense of achievement and increase his self-esteem.



toddler, parenting, behaviour