Keep the romance alive!

Yes, she may be a mother now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look at her the same way you did when you first met and couldn’t wait to take her into your arms. Make the effort and you will soon begin to rekindle, if not strengthen, the connection you once had.
Here are some top tips for winning your lover back over to your side of the bed, and away from the baby every now and then:

• The old massage trick – you don’t need to be a professional therapist to give your partner a little rub. On an emotional and psychological level, touching her gently will help to really connect with her. Don’t attempt to sexually arouse her unless she is clear that she is ready and relaxed. Start with a foot massage, cuddle up watching TV, etc. It may not lead to anything further, but being physically close and affectionate is still very special between two human beings who love each other and have a baby.
• Make her dinner; something you know she’ll enjoy. It doesn’t have to be cordon bleu cuisine! There are many simple and delicious ‘ready-made’ dishes one can buy and quickly heat up. Especially in the first few months with a new baby, help with meals will be most appreciated and will show your loved one that you really care.
• Take her out somewhere. If there’s someone you trust who can look after the baby, even if it’s for one or two hours so you can go and see a movie or have dinner, don’t allow yourselves to pass on the opportunity. You may well end up talking about the baby, but at least you can get away from the home environment for a little while, have the chance to hold her hands, look into her eyes and really pay attention to her.

Becoming a dad is all about catching hints here and there, being prepared and playing the game of parenting as a team. Good luck – you’re in!

By Hayley Alexander

fatherhood, pregnancy, birth, Hayley Alexander