Dos and don'ts for dads after birth

• Do get involved. Help the new mom; be a part of the process. Of course you can’t breastfeed, but there’s no reason you can’t burp your baby after a feed. Try changing nappies – it’s not all that bad and if you really can’t handle it, at least help to dress your little one after a bath, etc.
• Don’t be self-centred. If you expect your wife/partner to look after herself, the baby and you (her big baby!), and then to lie between the sheets quivering with desire, you’re on the wrong planet ... it’s not going to happen!
• Do simple acts of kindness or favours without her having to ask. For example, run a bath for Mom and Baby, and be there to help take Baby out of the bath. Again, it’s that supportive role which is so important.
• Don’t be scared to handle the baby. You need not worry that you might break your precious little bundle’s finger – babies are resilient.
• Do set boundaries with other family members or friends who have good intentions but may actually be interfering. Be clear in letting them know when they are and are not welcome. Especially in the first few days when you bring your baby home and there are hundreds of visitors, your wife may want to be alone with the baby in the bedroom and you will need to handle the guests.
• Do stay in touch with your partner while you are at work. Call her at lunchtime and if need be, be her ‘shrink’ in terms of just listening to what she wants to tell you, without judging her in any way or telling her what to do. Let her talk; there’s nobody who she feels has the baby’s best interests at heart more than you.
• Providing you are able to afford it, be open to the suggestion of getting domestic help if you have not had any previously. Even if it’s just once or twice a week, don’t be too quick to refuse this request. At the end of the day, if it means you’ll be coming home to a clean house and a happy wife, it’s well worth it. So unless you’re willing to jump on board (the ironing board!) when it comes to domestic chores, entertain your wife’s/partner’s requests for assistance in a sympathetic manner.

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