Different aspects to bonding with your baby

The different roles our senses play in "falling in love" with our baby

There are two aspects to bonding. The first is the emotional tone you set with your baby by responding to her cries consistently, meeting her basic needs and reading her signals.
There's also a sensory aspect to bonding. In order to enjoy interactions with another human being, we need to be able to tolerate and experience pleasure through our senses.

Touch is a powerful sense that's key to soothing and nurturing your baby.

• Baby massage, cuddling and simply feeding your baby all affect the sense of touch.
• If your baby is hypersensitive to touch, she'll have difficulty tolerating you in her personal space. This will result in you feeling ineffective as a mother and unloved.
• If your baby becomes irritable when you touch her, is overly sensitive to touch or is premature, begin the bonding process with still, deep touch. Still touch is less threatening than light touch or stroking. Place your hand on your baby's tummy, head or other area of her body and leave it there, containing her. When she begins to tolerate and enjoy this type of touch, you can begin to use deep massage strokes, always avoiding light, tickling touch.

Smell is the only sense that has direct neurological links to the emotion centre of the brain (the limbic system). All other sensory information is relayed through the mid brain and is interpreted before a response is elicited. With smell, an emotional response is created before you even register the smell. Just think about how you feel when you smell comfort food that your mom used to make for you. We also use our sense of smell to connect with our partners. A central part of falling in love with your baby is drinking in the newborn baby smell. To help your baby to connect with you, don't wear perfume in the early days – let your baby smell your natural scent.

Other senses, such as sight and hearing also play an important part in bonding as they'll assist with recognition and memory. Memory is important because it allows your baby to develop expectations of her relationship with you.

Misconceptions about bonding


baby, bonding, post-natal depression